Monday, 9 November 2015

Dr. Jekyll & Mr.Hyde

Colour Rain, Acrylic on canvas, 70x50cm, Jan. 2014, YEJI KIM

I am currently working on 2 paintings of Bluefin trevallies which have a diverse beautiful blue tone of colours depending on light exposure. But on Saturday, I was so unhappy about my work process. In my eyes on that day, I was absolutely not happy with the colours, they were not a Bluefin trevallies with full of live and glance I wanted them to be.  I was upset with myself. As I said in my recent post, I told myself, be brave, don´t be afraid of failure, you can only win. But this was not helping me at all at this moment.

I love painting, I could spend the whole day, the whole week with painting but for no reason (or for unknown reason) I tend to be unbearable with my whining when the result turns to be not as I have imagine and I don´t like.
So I stopped to paint, and told myself, I will have long long pause for these fishes and I dived into reading book; I was annoyed that I spend the whole day for nothing.

Next day which is a new day, so with new energy, I began with a new small painting first. I was quite happy with the temporary result of the small work (it is not done yet of course), and I transferred my happiness to the motivation for continuing the fish paintings.
I painted almost the whole day, I am super happy with my fishes now; they are as I have imagined, and as I wanted them to be alive. Was it because I had the courage to grab to more colours or more brush touches (I also did it the day before but I was not happy at all)… or was the problem just in my head?!?
Some days, it just works, some days I feel completely incapable to paint which makes me sad and crazy. I was wondering, am I really the only one, who becomes like Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to painting process/result?? I hope not…


  1. Hi Yeji, I was reading your blog and thought I'd send you a comment. I hope your having a good art day? but if your not don't worry because like you said in your blog, there's always tomorrow. All creative people have good and bad creative days, but keeping focused on what you visualise in your minds eye, knowing that you can push yourself further, not giving in to negativity for too long and bouncing back with new energy, you have the right attitude. Sometimes you have to paint past your insecurities which will help you learn to focus more, sometimes it's good to have other work which is going in a different direction so if one piece is'nt working you can distract yourself with other workand sometimes it is good to just leave it and do something else, this will allow your brain to work out the problems you have to overcome. Nice work, I love the fishes, and the landscapes, have fun.éamusÓDúill

    1. Hello there, thanks a lot for your comment. I appreciate it. I can´t agree more that it helps a lot when working on completely different work. Thank you for encouraging me, I guess our life and paintings are probably teaching/telling us that we should never give up :) Best greetings, Yeji


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